Today I received an email addressing the challenge of having faith in ourselves. I think most of us can relate to this issue, and it made me reflect.
What are we referring to when we find it challenging trusting ourselves? In whom are we supposed to have faith? This way of putting it made me think about one of the timeless principles of eastern philosophy. That one of the causes of suffering has to do with us forgetting who we are. Is it our inner being needing trust in itself? Is that even possible? Having trust in something needs an object. There has to be a certain distance between the one having faith and whoever/whatever it has faith in. With whom do we identify with? The observer, or the one being observed? Which one of them comes first?
“It is not who you are that holds you back. It is who you think you are not.”
– Unknown –
In my own life, I gradually discovered that what really triggered me was my attempt at leading a life through this perfect version of me, mainly created in my own mind. My expectations of myself were sky-high, and they were for the most part based on a pile of accumulated ideals. These ideals functioned as guidelines, telling me how I ought to be. The problem was that they did not correspond with how I felt inside. Not being aware of the fact that what I defined as one in reality was two – me, the essence of me, dealing with a set of ideals, quite often ended up with me mixing the two. I fully believed I was relating to “my ideals”. The result was a feeling of not being able to live up to what seemed to be my standard.
How can something which already is prove itself? If we, when reading these word, are firmly rooted in ourselves – where do we need to go from here? Perhaps the need to move arises as a result of us thinking about who we are supposed to be? Unless we are born inadequate, why do we need to move from where we are standing? We might say that our problem is not a lack of trust in ourselves, but rather that we have put our faith in the idea that we are inadequate. This resulting in us having to reinforce our faith in ourselves. What if we this very moment loosened our grip on both ideas. What would be left?
“Be – dont try to become.”
– Osho –